Chapter 44: How to Properly Use Your Mouth

“Ah! Help, help! My face! Cousin, come do something about this little brat—he’s actually bullying his elder, wuwuwu...”

Pei Yu flailed his arms and kicked his legs, crying out in terror for help, but he just couldn’t escape from Wu Xingyu’s clutches.

His screams were so shrill, like a pig being slaughtered, that anyone who heard them would be moved to tears.

In the end, he couldn’t save his handsome face—it was doomed to sink into the mud, just like the muck on the ground. His face was so smeared with mud that you could barely make out his features.

When Wu Xingyu finally had enough fun, Pei Yu managed to crawl up, weak and shaky, hugging his knees in fear and hiding off to the side. He squatted in a row with the other two well-behaved mud men. Just looking at their faces, they could’ve been triplets!

Pei Yu: QAQ. To be an elder and get bullied and humiliated by the younger generation—what a disgrace!

When Mo Xie heard the commotion and walked over, he saw his poor cousin squatting there hugging his knees, looking dazed and like his soul had left his body.

At some point, the main AI had quietly appeared again in the outer space, rolling around like a little matchstick, giggling.

It even snuck a glance at Wu Xingyu, and as if it thought of something, let out a creepy “hehehe” laugh in its heart. What a promising kid! What a promising kid!

Mo Xie raised an eyebrow, gave his troublesome cousin a disdainful look, then shifted his gaze to Wu Xingyu.

His cold, sharp brows furrowed. “How did you end up on an exile planet?”

It had been a while since they last contacted each other—was his nephew really having such a rough time out there?

Wu Xingyu’s face darkened instantly. He pressed his lips together, and a chilly aura radiated off him.

The two obedient “twins” squatting nearby exchanged a tearful glance.

What else could it be? Bad luck, of course!

Their third brother’s luck was so cursed, they didn’t even dare to think about it.

It all started with a big deal that required them to go to Kimberley for a face-to-face transaction. To be safe, their third brother personally led them in, disguised as an ugly servant, and managed to sneak in through General Yun Cang’s connections.

But things didn’t go smoothly once inside. The rest of them managed to blend in with the locals and escape notice, but their third brother’s disguise was so ugly that he actually caught the eye of a woman.

Wu Xingyu, who’d always gotten into trouble for being too good-looking, was dumbfounded. What was wrong with the women of Kimberley? He’d made himself this ugly and she still liked him?

Damn that personal charm!

Since the woman was a powerful noble and very forceful, Wu Xingyu had no choice but to separate from his companions and go with her to avoid blowing his cover.

But he never expected that she’d make him drink some kind of potion—apparently, she’d picked him because he was so ugly, to humiliate her own cousin.

Wu Xingyu had a million curses in his heart, but with that woman watching him like a hawk, he could only gulp it down.

He thought he could use his powers to neutralize the effects, but wouldn’t you know it—his luck was so bad that his powers malfunctioned right then due to internal dark matter disorder, and his reversal ability just wouldn’t work...

By the time he escaped, his companions only saw him with flushed cheeks, rumpled clothes, and a glimpse of his fair, delicate collarbone—looking both alluring and fierce, enough to make anyone’s heart skip a beat.

If you asked, it was because some woman got the hots for him and wanted to eat him up. He had to fight tooth and nail just to keep his chastity.

As for what really happened, his friends didn’t know, nor could they find out. Because the next day, the person they were supposed to trade with tried to double-cross them—took the goods without paying, and even accused them of being Imperial agents.

Which, to be fair, they actually were. So, they beat the crap out of the double-crosser, and then got chased by Kimberley’s security forces from one end of the city to the other, and then into space.

After a fierce space battle, they finally shook off their pursuers—only to run straight into a group of space pirates.

“Space pirates,” but their ships were so well-equipped and heavily armed, they were no worse than the Imperial fleet.

Ha! Did they really think a disguise would hide the fact they were some family’s elite death squad?

After another brutal fight, sacrificing themselves to hurt the enemy even more, they managed to wipe out the pirate fleet. They thought they were finally safe, but oh, how wrong they were. This wasn’t the end—it was just the beginning.

Just like the monk Tang Sanzang’s journey to the West, they had to survive nine assassination attempts on their way back to the Empire. The difficulty was off the charts!

And that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that their own team started having problems.

Their strongest fighter, Wu Xingyu, was so unlucky that every time he was about to finish off an enemy, his powers would fail or even backfire.

On top of that, random mishaps kept happening—like accidentally drinking expired nutrient solution and getting stomach cramps; a teammate dropping something and giving him a bruise on the forehead; or when he was about to land a killing blow, some random person or stray shell would get in the way, making his attack miss and giving the enemy a few more minutes to live...

Finally, after fighting their way through countless obstacles and being just one light-year away from the Empire, they ran into a once-in-a-century spatial black hole.

Damn it! The black hole swallowed their ship whole, and after days and nights of terrifying, 360-degree tumbling, it finally spat them out—right onto the infamous exile planet, a place everyone in the galaxy feared, where you could enter but never leave.

As soon as their ship landed, it broke down with a crunch, and their mechs, battered from battle and the black hole, were totaled...

From then on, it was tears behind iron bars, friends and family lost, and all the wealth they’d earned became someone else’s dowry.

Tragic, isn’t it?

And you think their bad luck ended there?

Nope.

Just as they were pulling themselves together and getting ready to seek out Wu Xingyu’s uncle, they ran into a magnetic core storm.

They could’ve escaped, but Wu Xingyu got smacked in the face by a flying plastic bag, slowing him down just a bit—and that was enough for the tail end of the storm to sweep him up.

Yun He and Yuan An, who were right next to him, were also caught off guard and dragged in, getting tossed around with all sorts of trash and berserk beasts.

They got battered and bruised, and it was no less dangerous than the black hole.

When Wu Xingyu finally managed to toss his two weakling companions into a pile of garbage for safety, he himself got whacked on the head by a metal can at the edge of the heap, used up the last of his strength, and passed out gloriously.

If the magnetic storm hadn’t been almost over, who knows where he would’ve ended up.

With his luck, he’d probably wake up surrounded by a pack of drooling berserk beasts.

In short, to sum it up: Wu Xingyu is a certified, unlucky disaster magnet. No doubt about it!"