Chapter 179: Confession—Not to Be Ignored

“I spent the whole night thinking after I got back yesterday,” Gu Xu said.

“A lot of my actions really did cross the line. At the time, I didn’t think much about it—I just did whatever I felt like. But your words made me realize: why did I cross the line?”

He smiled slightly, but the smile was hard for Bian Changxi to face directly. “Don’t say any more. It was all my fault. I take back what I said yesterday.”

But Gu Xu seemed not to hear her. “I told you before, I see you as a real teammate, and protecting my teammates is only natural. Secondly, you’re a girl. People say there shouldn’t be gender distinctions in an apocalypse—” He suddenly sighed, sounding a bit regretful. “Who came up with that nonsense? Of course there are differences between men and women. In the old days, Western gentlemen followed the rule of ‘ladies first’—in danger, it was always the elderly, children, and women who left first. In our peaceful times, we promoted gender equality, because society gave women equal rights and status. But even so, there’s still International Women’s Day, and women are still a disadvantaged group—don’t glare at me, I’m not sexist, that much is clear.”

How could Bian Changxi not glare at him? What was he even talking about? Since when did Gu Xu’s thoughts jump around like this? She couldn’t keep up with his pace at all.

Still, the tension in her heart eased a little.

Gu Xu continued, “But now, with the world turned upside down and danger everywhere, you have to fight to survive. The gap between men and women has widened again. Women are naturally not as strong in combat as men. For example, we’re both at Tier 3, but your strength is still not on par with mine. You admit that, right?”

Bian Changxi thought for a moment, then nodded.

What are you trying to say? Rambling isn’t like you!

“And that’s not even mentioning the other troubles women naturally have. So, saying there’s no gender difference is just an excuse—men use the survival crisis as a reason to shirk their responsibility to look after women, and women use it as a slogan for self-empowerment. It’s inspiring, but also a little sad.”

“So?”

“So, it makes perfect sense for me to pay special attention to you and care about your safety.”

Bian Changxi caught the main point and nodded immediately. “Right. That makes sense! You’re very responsible!” So why are you still holding my hand?!

Gu Xu sighed. “That’s how I tried to convince myself, but it didn’t feel right. Then I found a third reason.”

“You’re a very talented wood-type user. I need people like you. Even if you were just an ordinary subordinate, I’d still do my best to keep you safe. It’s an investment—if you live and get stronger, I benefit more.”

“You also saved Yingzi and Old Wu. I owe you a debt of gratitude. I should protect you with my life.”

All the reasons Chen Yisha mentioned during her analysis, Gu Xu brought up himself.

“But I realized there’s more.”

People nearby were secretly watching them—one was their boss, the other a legendary wood-type user. The two sitting together looked surprisingly well-matched.

Even though someone had already made it clear to everyone that nothing could develop between them, still… their expressions seemed off, and everyone saw their boss firmly holding the girl’s hand.

Many people’s jaws dropped. Conversations and chewing stopped mid-action.

Qiu Yun had come with Gu Xu that morning. He was a lively sort, not one to handle things alone—impatient to manage anything by himself, he usually just ran errands for Gu Xu and Qiu Feng.

He’d just been out measuring things with the engineering team.

Starving, he returned with the team leader, thinking only of handing the guy over to the boss and then wolfing down his boxed lunch—Aunt Zhao had made it specially, with the freshest green beans and tomato scrambled eggs, plus some good meat. He still didn’t know how Bian Changxi managed to preserve that meat.

Passing by the car, someone told him Gu Xu had taken his lunch and was over by the greenhouse. Qiu Yun thought, “Boss is so nice today, even brought my lunch over.”

But as he got closer, his eyes widened—his lunch had been opened? And eaten? Who dared?!

Then he saw who it was, and the way the man and woman were holding hands. He gaped.

His boss was sitting sideways, facing that girl, looking calm and normal, but judging by her reaction, he must have said something explosive.

There’s something going on! There’s a story here!

He always knew his boss couldn’t possibly be too timid to express his feelings!

Gossip burned in his heart. He told the team leader to wait and tiptoed over.

Gu Xu also noticed the attention around them. If he could help it, he wouldn’t have chosen to say these things in public, but the timing felt right, and he didn’t want to delay any longer.

His dark eyes fixed on Bian Changxi, a soft yet unyielding light in them, reflecting her startled expression. “Changxi, I like you. I definitely do.”

Maybe because of all Gu Xu’s explanations and buildup, Bian Changxi was a bit lost, her emotions less tense and sharp. She didn’t react too strongly, just lowered her eyes. “Maybe not. You just listed all those reasons—if you have feelings, they’re based on those factors, not on me as a person.”

Gu Xu smiled. “Then tell me, which parts are you, and which are just external conditions? If it weren’t you, none of those reasons would exist. If you hadn’t done those things, you wouldn’t be the person sitting in front of me. There’s no contradiction.”

Bian Changxi was at a loss for words. “I can’t argue with you.”

“You’re just lying to yourself.”

“So what do you want? You like me, so what? I have a boyfriend.” Bian Changxi’s tone was almost like haggling over a purchase, as if Gu Xu had cheated her out of money.

Gu Xu was helpless.

When she’s not calm, she’s like a bomb, ready to go off at any moment. When she is calm, she acts like this. Honestly, her personality isn’t all that likable.

But he could see the conflict and sadness in her eyes—her coldness was just a protective shell for her confusion.

He’d also wondered last night: what exactly about her attracted him? When she’s stubborn, she’s really a headache, even a bit self-absorbed.

Not cute at all.

So his helplessness showed a bit on his face. He said, “I know. I also know your ex-boyfriend is in the US, and probably won’t ever come back.”

Bian Changxi trembled slightly.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, and I can’t judge you. Even if you want to spend your whole life waiting, never giving me a chance, I probably can’t interfere. But Bian Changxi, you have to know how I feel.”

He let go of her hand and stood up. The light in his eyes faded away, returning to that deep, unreadable black, his face once again cool and resolute. In a voice only Bian Changxi could hear, he said, “If you want things to go back to normal, fine. If you want us to be just boss and subordinate, or just friends, that’s fine too. We’ll go to the capital together—I trust you, and you can rely on me. But if you want to pretend nothing happened, to just muddle through, that’s not possible.”

Bian Changxi looked up.

She didn’t quite understand what he meant.

That was probably the difference in their personalities.

When it came to matters of the heart, Bian Changxi was afraid of change, stuck in her memories. At the first sign of trouble, she’d shrink back into her shell, ready for the worst possible outcome after rejection, but unable to face the possible consequences of change.

Gu Xu was different. Before, any ambiguity was just because he hadn’t thought about it, and he didn’t even know Bian Changxi still had someone on her mind. So he let things be. He really didn’t have the time or energy to pursue it. But when Bian Changxi started to open up and then immediately closed off again, he was startled, realized what was happening, and decided to act.

Even if he couldn’t change things, even if it was incredibly difficult, he had to fight for it.

A man’s feelings can be rejected, but they can’t be ignored.

For Gu Xu, being turned down before he’d even confessed, and in such a vague way, was already a huge failure. But if he just gave up and helped smooth things over, that would be a matter of character.

Of course, he wasn’t going to pester her endlessly—he couldn’t do that. But he did need to make things clear.

He sighed softly. Since meeting Bian Changxi, he’d lost count of how many times he’d sighed. “That’s all I wanted to say. Think it over. If you really can’t accept it, I won’t cling to you, and you don’t have to change anything. Life will go on just as it is.”

Bian Changxi felt a bit dazed.

Walking down the street, Gu Xu’s words echoed in her mind. Honestly, she still couldn’t quite understand.

If he wasn’t going to force things, and their relationship wouldn’t change, what was the point of saying all that? Would being honest about his feelings really make things less awkward?

Sometimes she felt more resolute, sometimes more conflicted. Sigh—she really was herself, unable to change her timid nature, unable to be as straightforward as Gu Xu, who could confess his feelings as calmly as if he were giving a report.

She patted her face, steadied herself, and thought, “Well, since everything’s out in the open, I might as well face it. If we can’t be lovers, being friends is already a miracle. Times have changed—who can afford to be so melodramatic? Life under Gu Xu is good, and unless I have no other choice, I’m not leaving this big tree.”

Looking up, she realized she’d already reached Dongqing Street. Following her memory, she walked to a shop with two storefronts—the sign read “Liu’s Tailor Shop.”

A tailor shop—what a game-like word. She curled her lip and went inside.

Inside, a poised and elegant woman was lost in thought, turning over a piece of fabric, while a girl of seventeen or eighteen was tidying up clothes. The shop was full of garments in strange colors and shapes.

She smiled and called out, “Aunt Liu.”

Liu Xiangjie looked up from her material, and when she saw Bian Changxi, she stood up with a smile. “Changxi, you’re here. I heard you weren’t well recently—I only heard rumors, so I didn’t know if it was true. I wanted to visit, but I couldn’t get into that area.”

“I’m fine. Some people just have nothing better to do than hope for others’ misfortune.”

Liu Xiangjie looked her over and saw she was in good spirits, so she relaxed. “I really have to thank you this time. The owner of the handicraft factory personally tested me and sent some business my way, even helped me rent the shop next door so I could expand. I know if it weren’t for you, they wouldn’t have favored me like this.”

Liu Xiangjie was genuinely grateful, and Bian Changxi was relieved—she’d worried this upright professional woman might be unhappy that she’d pulled strings without telling her.

“That’s all because of your own skill, Aunt Liu. I didn’t do much.” Bian Changxi meant it. Liu Xiangjie was dedicated to clothing design and material research, perfect for making new types of clothes. At that moment, Bian Changxi noticed the thick, iron-grey fabric in her hands. It felt soft and flexible, yet strong and cool to the touch—almost like softened sheet metal.

It was, of course, the hide of an iron-skinned dog, great for making protective clothing.

Right now, iron-skinned dogs were being secretly dissected at the slaughterhouse—the outermost, armor-like lumps sent to Luo Jiuqing’s research team, the hide to Liu Xiangjie, and the meat’s fate still unknown (Bian Changxi wasn’t sure if it was edible). The bones, eyes, and other parts were still being studied for possible uses.

Seeing her interest, Liu Xiangjie said, “Ordinary needle and thread can’t sew this material. I’m thinking of using thread made from a tough grass we recently got from outside the base, and needles ground from the dog’s bones. Even though this fabric is soft and tough, it’s not comfortable against the skin—it’ll need more processing.”

As she spoke, she drifted off into her own thoughts again. Bian Changxi didn’t disturb her, looked around, and then left.

A few shops down was a clothing store with three storefronts on the second floor, the sign reading “Xu’s Clothing Workshop.”

This was the Xu family’s shop—one of the big players. They sold both regular and new-style clothes. Xu Qingyang was inside dealing with customers, and Bian Kuang was there too, sitting idly at the counter, polishing a short dagger, looking bored.

Bian Changxi paused for a moment but didn’t stop. Further down, the buildings got lower, the shops shabbier, and the clothes on sale were all pre-apocalypse, piled in big bins at the door—a mess. For just one Tier 1 white core, you could buy five or six sets—dirt cheap.

Bian Changxi squatted in front of a stall, rummaging through the clothes. “Did she act strange?”

The shopkeeper wore a hat, face dark and downcast, but sounded excited. “Yesterday, after coming back from who-knows-where, she had a long face, smiling without any warmth—really scary. Then she went out again at night. We followed her and saw she went to the slums, entered a house, and only came out after half an hour, then went to Area A. We couldn’t follow her in, so we don’t know what she did. But this morning, Qu Yi and the others, including the target, were all taken away by people from Zhuge Yunma’s group.”

Thanks to “Little Mouse Who Loves Reading” for the pink ticket!

Thanks to “Crying Fish Who Wants to Fly” for the pink ticket! l3l4"