Chapter 64: Emotions—Past and Present

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When the chaos outside finally subsided, someone knocked on the repair shop door: “Is anyone in there? Is Captain Yue here?”

Everyone was overjoyed. They hurriedly moved the car blocking the entrance and swung open the heavy double doors.

Outside stood several soldiers in camouflage uniforms. More people were cleaning up the battlefield, mainly digging out zombie crystal cores. All around, the ground was littered with zombie remains, interspersed with human corpses. Blood and viscera had splattered the walls, leaving dark red stains, and the air was thick with a pungent, choking smell.

Bian Changxi had planned to wait until everyone else left before going out herself to avoid the crowd, but people were already blocking the doorway. At the front, Yue Li called out, “Captain Gu!”

“Mm.”

The reply was low and deep, just a single syllable, and not an easy one to utter, yet it carried a clear, commanding strength—like a powerful hand reaching out from the air, instantly gripping everyone’s senses and thoughts.

“Have you seen Miss Bian?” the voice continued. The crowd parted, opening a path down the middle, revealing a tall figure standing at the doorway.

…

For a moment, Bian Changxi felt as if she were dreaming. This scene seemed like something out of a movie: the male and female leads, or two people with a deep bond, separated by a crowd, locking eyes and moving toward each other—just like two hearts drawing closer, a warm, stirring, and moving moment.

She watched Gu Xu approach, and for some reason, her mind drifted back to their bitter parting in her previous life. He had flung out the words, “Zhu Yunhua is no good. You’ll regret it!”

That almost heartless voice had echoed in the air, following her through countless years, countless sunrises and lonely nights. She would ask herself: Did I regret it?

She didn’t dare think about it.

She was good at lying to herself: I’m doing fine. He’s doing fine too. There was never anyone else around her who could distract her, and the women around him were all stronger, more capable, gentler, and more beautiful than she was.

Not until the moment of her death did she finally taste the helplessness and pleading in his words, finally allow herself to wonder: What if she had stayed by his side? How would things have turned out?

There are no “what ifs” in life—and yet, sometimes, there are.

Fate had given her another chance, a connection she and Gu Xu never had in their previous life. Yet she still didn’t dare do anything, hypnotizing herself into believing he was just an ordinary old acquaintance, using that as an excuse to avoid and retreat…

She steadied herself, looked up at him, and asked, “What are you doing here?”

He was dressed in military uniform, the dark green lines accentuating his tall, upright figure. The steadiness of his bearing was matched by a certain strictness, his chiseled face tense in the sunlight. His thick, heroic brows seemed ready to soar at any moment. His steps were even and assured, every movement exuding strength and masculinity.

He was like a wave of awe-inspiring power crashing against the rocks, stirring the heart. The nearby women were momentarily transfixed.

Bian Changxi was briefly stunned too, but she’d seen Gu Xu at his most dazzling before, so she quickly recovered and joked, “You look so official today.”

Seeing she was still in the mood to tease, Gu Xu relaxed a little, took off his earpiece, and said, “You didn’t answer my call, and I happened to be free, so I came to check on you myself.”

Free, and this is how you spend your time? Bian Changxi didn’t buy it, and her heart was a mix of emotions.

Gu Xu asked, “You’re all okay?”

Lin Rongrong and the others quickly shook their heads. “We’re fine, we’re fine.”

“That’s good.” The aura he’d shown earlier faded, and he returned to his usual, ordinary self. Even so, he was handsome and tall, and the uniform only enhanced his presence—making it hard for anyone to look away.

“Rest for a bit. They’re still clearing zombies outside. Once it’s done, you can go back.”

As Gu Xu spoke, Yue Li came over and gestured for a private word. The two of them stepped aside. Bian Changxi noticed that the more Gu Xu listened, the more silent and troubled he looked, his eyes flickering with emotions impossible to read.

If she didn’t know him well, she wouldn’t even have noticed the subtle change in his expression.

After a while, someone turned into a zombie, and the two men rushed over to handle it.

It was a long time before Gu Xu returned.

“What’s wrong? You look worried,” Bian Changxi asked casually, noticing his mood was indeed heavier than before.

Gu Xu glanced at her and sat down nearby. “The appearance of the mutant rats is suspicious. Captain Yue wants my help to investigate the source. When I was in Area A earlier, I vaguely heard something about an underground space being discovered. Do you know anything about that?”

Bian Changxi’s heart skipped a beat. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m just curious.”

Bian Changxi glanced at his face, hesitated, then recounted Yue Li and Su Chensi’s odd behavior, as well as Liu Meng and the others’ actions—leaving out her own involvement. “I really don’t know if there’s any underground space.”

The more Gu Xu listened, the darker his expression became. After a moment’s thought, he stood up. “Don’t mention this to anyone else. You all stay here and rest. I’ll go check it out.”

Seeing him leave in such a hurry, Bian Changxi’s sense of unease only grew.

Had she, without realizing it, stirred up another hornet’s nest?

Whatever Gu Xu found in that empty underground exhibition hall, Bian Changxi didn’t know. On the way back, she, Lin Rongrong, and the Chen father and son rode in Gu Xu’s car. Han Li, who’d only been their companion for half a day and hadn’t lived with them, went her own way.

The atmosphere in the car was heavy. To avoid crowding, Gu Xu had assigned the army driver to Yue Li and drove himself. Bian Changxi sat in the front passenger seat, sneaking glances at him.

His brows were slightly furrowed, his fingers gripping the steering wheel, the lines of his hands strong and well-defined.

She rubbed her forehead in frustration, sighing inwardly.

The artificial river, which had no bridge before, now had a wide road filled in, allowing cars to cross easily. Because everyone returning from missions needed to be checked for zombie infection, Gu Xu dropped the four of them at the inspection station before driving off again—he was extremely busy now.

After the check, the four returned to their lodgings. They were still in the same building as before, but now the surrounding area had been completely cleared and taken over by the military, becoming their main base. Their place was in the middle to outer ring of the base—a prime location, one of the safest and most orderly areas in the new district. Others couldn’t get in, and those who’d lived there before had been relocated elsewhere.

From a distance, they saw Grandpa Chen and Mother Chen waiting anxiously at the street corner. Chen Haitao and his son rushed over eagerly. Lin Rongrong sighed, “How nice… Why isn’t anyone waiting for me?”

“I’m in the same boat,” Bian Changxi replied offhandedly. Lin Rongrong shot her a look. “You? Come on, everyone can see Captain Gu came here just for you. He even drove you back himself—what more do you want?”

Bian Changxi was speechless, feeling even more irritable. She washed her hands and face downstairs, then headed upstairs. “I’m going to rest for a bit.”

Lin Rongrong hurried after her. “Don’t forget the Chinese medicine you asked me to get. Here, I don’t need it, so it’s all yours.”

She pulled out a pile of medicine packets and jars from her storage space, dumping them all onto Bian Changxi’s bed. “What do you need all this for? It’s not easy to carry, and with things as they are, even decocting the medicine is a hassle.”

“I have my reasons,” Bian Changxi said, pushing her out and locking the door. She looked at the bed piled high with medicine, sighed, and didn’t deal with it right away. Instead, she leaned on the fourth-floor windowsill, gazing down at the streets of the new district.

The place was bustling now. Many people had nowhere to live and pitched tents by the roadside, fighting over even a tiny patch of sun or shade. Complaints and arguments were everywhere. Small gangs had started carving out their own territories, bullying others in secret, and sometimes even getting into minor brawls. But whenever that happened, the military would quickly arrive to restore order.

In her area, military vehicles came and went, squads of soldiers in camouflage uniforms rushed by, and the sound of commands would instantly quiet the surroundings.

All in all, it was relatively harmonious.

Bian Changxi gazed out blankly, tilting her face up to the pouring sunlight until her cheeks grew hot and her head ached. She stared at the distant glint of tall buildings, at the endless sky, her thoughts drifting. After a long while, she gently pulled out a photograph.

In it, a tall, handsome young man stood holding an umbrella, his shirt white as snow, his smile bright and clear—almost too beautiful for this world.

She’d taken this picture with Bai Heng during their second year of high school. Their youthful feelings had been so pure and innocent. They’d grown up together, their friendship blossoming into love. They thought they’d be together forever, planned to travel the world, stroll under willows by the river… But less than a year later, her parents died, Bai Heng was forced to leave, and she was left alone in this place.

And she would always be alone.

After the apocalypse, everyone changed. She changed too—became cold, calculating, numb, willing to sacrifice anything, even marriage, just to survive. This hypocritical, heartless version of herself felt like an insult to even think about that photo or that person.

Yet, that was her only remaining hope and beauty in this world—a reminder that she, too, had once been young, happy, and warm.

Now that she had a second chance at life, she’d decided never to compromise for anyone or anything again, never to give up this pure place in her heart. She would live well, think of him well, and, separated by an ocean, live on together with him.

No matter how the world changed, this feeling was what she wanted to protect forever.

But…

Bian Changxi’s gaze grew lost.

“If I told you I might be falling for someone else, would you be sad? But, Ah Heng, how can people be so fickle? I swore so solemnly, staked my life on it, and I still think of you—so how can I let someone else into my heart?”

Okay, I admit I’m advertising here. Not sure if this violates any rules and the system will come after me ╮╭