Chapter 189: Chapter 189: A Mother's Love Means Doing Her Best, Yet Still Feeling She's Fallen Short

The next moment, a tall, slender figure appeared at the doorway.

The sky was so dark that only a vague outline could be seen. In an instant, Zhong Zijun’s eyes filled with tears. She was speechless as she hurried toward her son.

The moment Gu Lanting saw Zhong Zijun, he too rushed forward, throwing his arms around his mother’s thin frame.

Mother and son, reunited after a long separation, were both overwhelmed with emotion.

From a boy of eleven or twelve, Gu Lanting had grown into a young man taller than his mother. He had experienced so much over the years.

But hadn’t Zhong Zijun as well?

Hardship makes people grow, but it’s nothing to celebrate.

“Mom, you’ve lost weight!” Gu Lanting choked out.

Zhong Zijun smiled through her tears, patting her son’s sturdy back. “Lanting, my son, you’ve grown up. That’s wonderful!”

I’m sorry, I couldn’t be there as you grew up. But thankfully, you still turned out to be such a good child.

As a mother, there were endless words of apology she could never fully express. In the end, a tight embrace said it all.

“Mom, as soon as my sister and I got your letter, we rushed back. Are you all alright?” Gu Lanting remembered the contents of the letter and quickly asked.

Zhong Zijun shook her head and wiped away her tears.

“It’s all fine now. You two must be exhausted from the journey. I brought some simple food for you—come and eat.”

Hearing the voices outside, Zhong Luoning and Ming Ruxue came out of the kitchen, holding a kerosene lamp.

“Mom, I didn’t just bring Lanting back—there’s someone else too. Guess who? Ta-da!” Gu Qinghuan said playfully, stepping aside as Zhong Luoning came out with Youran.

When Zhong Zijun was sent down to the countryside, Zhong Luoning was already an adult and married, so she hadn’t changed much—just seemed a bit more melancholic.

By the light of the kerosene lamp, Zhong Zijun recognized her niece at once.

“Luoning? And this must be little Youran? You both came too! That’s wonderful! Your grandparents will be so happy to see you. They wanted to come with me just now, but the road was slippery, so I didn’t let them. They’ll definitely complain to me about it when I get back tonight.”

Unlike the guilt and sadness she felt toward Gu Lanting, seeing her niece Zhong Luoning again brought only joy and surprise.

“Aunt, it’s been so long. How have you all been? Sorry for dropping in like this. Come on, Youran, say hello to your great-aunt,” Zhong Luoning patiently prompted Youran.

Sure enough, Youran followed her and greeted Zhong Zijun, whose face lit up with smiles. She didn’t know about Youran’s situation—over the years, Zhong Luoning had only shared good news, never the bad, keeping everyone in the dark.

“Our little Youran has grown so much, and she’s such a good girl. Auntie didn’t bring anything with her this time, but I’ll make it up to you with a gift next time.” Zhong Zijun stroked her little face.

Youran didn’t like being touched by strangers and hid behind her mother.

Zhong Zijun just thought she was shy.

Because everything happened so suddenly, she was simply too happy to think about why Zhong Luoning, who had her own family, would come back to the northeast with Gu Qinghuan at the end of the year.

Ming Ruxue, seeing that Zhong Zijun hadn’t noticed her, deliberately put her hands on her hips and stepped forward. “What about me? Zhong Mama, guess who I am?”

Looking at her, Zhong Zijun really didn’t recognize her. This girl was beautiful and stylish—there weren’t any relatives like this in the family, let alone anyone who’d be willing to visit the countryside.

So Zhong Zijun hadn’t dared to guess.

But since she called her “Zhong Mama,” Zhong Zijun had a pretty good idea.

The only one who ever called her that was Mingcheng and Nansheng’s little girl.

Though she’d guessed, Zhong Zijun wanted to tease her a bit.

“What a pretty girl! I don’t have any impression of you at all. Are you Lanting’s classmate?”

Ming Ruxue hadn’t expected that even after calling her “Zhong Mama,” she still wouldn’t guess. Disappointed, she shook her head. “Guess again!”

Zhong Zijun couldn’t bear to see her disappointed.

“Haha, you’re little Ruxue, aren’t you? The little crybaby from Nansheng’s family. In the blink of an eye, you’ve grown so much! When did you come back from abroad? How are your parents?”

Realizing she was being teased, Ming Ruxue immediately brightened up and gave Zhong Zijun a big bear hug.

She was already taller than Zhong Zijun now.

“Zhong Mama, I missed you so much! When I was abroad, the thing I missed most was your cooking. As soon as I got back, I couldn’t wait to find Qinghuan-jie and mooch a meal. She’s really inherited your skills—not only is she beautiful, she cooks well, and she takes such good care of people. My parents are fine, you know how it is—they’re busy all year round, so they left me in Qinghuan-jie’s care!”

Ming Ruxue’s flurry of compliments made Zhong Zijun laugh so hard she could barely see. The best way to flatter a mother is to praise her children.

“Alright, since you’re all here, we can have a lively New Year together.” This year, she was well-prepared, with plenty of supplies, enough firewood and food, and her daughter had ways to get more. She felt completely at ease.

If this had been a few years ago, having so many guests would’ve been a nightmare—she could barely feed herself, let alone others.

“By the way, where’s Huai’an? I haven’t seen him,” Zhong Zijun finally remembered her son-in-law.

Everyone was here except him. Zhong Zijun’s heart tightened—had something happened?

“He had some things to take care of in Beijing and couldn’t come back yet. He’ll probably make it after the New Year,” Gu Qinghuan explained.

Zhong Zijun patted her chest in relief.

“As long as he’s fine. I was so scared something had happened to him. It’s cold out—let’s go inside and talk! I brought some mushroom sauce and steamed buns I made. Make do with these tonight, and I’ll cook something better for you tomorrow.” Zhong Zijun ushered everyone inside.

Zhong Luoning had already cooked a big pot of cornmeal porridge and stir-fried some cabbage and shredded potatoes.

With Zhong Zijun’s steamed buns and mushroom sauce, the family ate until they were stuffed.

Along the way, the adults had given all the good food to the kids, eating only dry rations and the awful boxed meals on the train—they were nearly sick from it. Now, a bowl of sweet, soft, rustic cornmeal porridge with some light side dishes felt like heaven.

Gu Lanting picked up one of his mother’s steamed buns, slathered it with mushroom sauce, and took a big bite—delicious! With the porridge, he polished off four or five buns in one go.

Zhong Zijun was stunned—when did this boy get such an appetite?

She remembered how, as a child, getting him to eat was a nightmare. Wu Ma had to chase him all over the place to feed him.

Now he could eat so much—being able to eat is a blessing.

Thinking of this, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. Without a mother’s protection, the children had suffered a lot. She truly felt sorry.

A mother’s love is doing her best, yet always feeling she’s fallen short.

—

Gu Qinghuan noticed her mother’s change in mood and nudged Gu Lanting under the table.

Seeing his mother’s tearful eyes as she watched him eat, Gu Lanting thought she wanted a bun and quickly handed her the one he’d just picked up. “Mom, you eat too.”

Gu Qinghuan covered her face—what a silly boy.

Boys really don’t have much empathy; they can’t understand a mother’s little feelings at all. Daughters are the real treasures.

If she ever had a child, she’d want a daughter for sure—never a silly boy.

Goodness, what nonsense! Why was she even thinking about having kids? She must have been brainwashed by these children.

Raising a child is a huge responsibility. In modern terms, their generation is so responsible and respectful of children’s feelings—they’re the best suited to be parents, yet the least willing to become them.

If having a child only means passing on your own toil, poverty, and anxiety, then not having one is also a kind of kindness.

Zhong Zijun took the bun her son handed her and took a big bite. “Thank you, son.”

Gu Lanting gave her a pure, silly smile. Gu Qinghuan couldn’t bear to look and hurriedly ate her meal.

The family ate a simple dinner while the children chattered to Zhong Zijun about their journey. The whole atmosphere was warm and cozy.

After dinner, it was completely dark outside, and snowflakes began to fall again. By morning, the world would be white once more.

Zhong Zijun wanted to go home, but Gu Qinghuan insisted she stay.

It was too late for her to go back alone, and she wouldn’t agree to be escorted, so it was better to just stay the night. Everyone was already squeezing in together—one more person wouldn’t matter.

The kang (heated brick bed) had been warmed while cooking, and after a long day, everyone just wanted to crawl under the covers and get warm.

Gu Qinghuan boiled a big pot of water for everyone to soak their feet and relax.

At this point, no one cared about hygiene—no one had athlete’s foot anyway. They filled the big wooden laundry tub with warm water, and the women and the two little girls, Youran and Beibei, gathered around to soak their feet.

Soaking their feet and chatting, they couldn’t have been more comfortable.

Gu Qinghuan even added some spiritual spring water, making it even more relaxing.

As for Lanting and Dabao, the only boys, everyone unanimously shooed them off to use the smaller foot basin.

After soaking their feet, it was time to assign sleeping arrangements.

If not for Gu Lanting, a half-grown man, the two kang beds would have been easy to arrange. But with him there, and especially with Ming Ruxue, an unmarried young lady, they had to be careful.

In the end, Gu Qinghuan arranged it like this:

She would take Beibei, Zhong Luoning would take Youran, and Ming Ruxue would join them—five people on the kang she usually slept on.

Five people sounded like a lot, but it was really just three adults and two small children, so there was plenty of room. They just needed two big quilts, which Gu Qinghuan had already prepared.

Lanting, Dabao, and Zhong Zijun would share the other room.

For mother and son, there was no need to avoid suspicion, especially with Dabao in the middle.

It was a good chance for mother and son, who hadn’t seen each other in years, to catch up.

Zhong Zijun had no objections. As a mother, she hadn’t had a heart-to-heart with her son in ages, and with so many people around, it wasn’t convenient to talk much.

Now, she could use this time to really talk with him, learn about his experiences, and rebuild their bond.

No one else minded either.

After a rough night on the train, everyone slept soundly.

On Gu Qinghuan’s side, the two children fell asleep immediately, and after a few words, the three adults soon drifted off as well.

On the other kang, Dabao fell asleep first, leaving mother and son to talk for a long time—about the past few years, their journeys, and their feelings. Gu Lanting held nothing back from his mother.

Though five years had passed, the bond between mother and son hadn’t faded. If anything, time had made them cherish it even more.

Unlike those rebellious sons who refuse to communicate with their mothers, Gu Lanting had always had a natural admiration for his mother and was willing to talk deeply with her, benefiting from it.

Perhaps it was because Zhong Zijun was a teacher—she knew how to listen to her children and how to educate them.

She had always worked hard, but in front of her children, she was never a killjoy. If she promised them something, she’d do everything she could to make it happen.

She never forced her own will on them or made them do things they didn’t like.

That’s why both children were so close to her."